Table of Contents
Chapter 1 Nuts and Bolts: Understanding Why Mediation Works5
| Where Mediation Came From | 5 |
| The Basics of Mediation | 5 |
| How Mediation Works | 6 |
| What Mediation Resolves | 7 |
| Who Are Mediators? | 8 |
| What Mediation Costs | 8 |
| Important Aspects of Mediation | 8 |
| Neutrality | 8 |
| Confidentiality | 9 |
| Financial Disclosure | 9 |
| Long-Term Effects | 9 |
| How Mediation Differs from Other Alternative Dispute-Resolution Processes | 11 |
| Arbitration | 11 |
| Collaborative Law | 12 |
| Types of Mediation | 12 |
| Court-Ordered Mediation | 12 |
| Co-Mediation | 13 |
| Shuttle Mediation | 13 |
| Attorney-Attended Mediation | 14 |
| Long-Distance Mediation | 14 |
| Community Mediation | 15 |
| Understanding Limitations | 16 |
| The Mediation Mind-Set | 16 |
| Tips for Thinking About Mediation | 16 |
Chapter 2 Giving It a Try: Saying Yes to Mediation17
| Are You a Good Candidate for Mediation? | 17 |
| The Pros and Cons of Mediation | 18 |
| Are You Ready to Mediate? | 19 |
| Assessing Your Negotiation Skills | 19 |
| Overcoming Your Fears About Mediation | 20 |
| Talking to Your Spouse About Mediation | 20 |
| How Mediation Will Affect You | 23 |
| Tips for Knowing When You're Ready to Mediate | 23 |
Chapter 3 The Perfect Match: Choosing a Mediator24
| Types of Mediators | 24 |
| How to Find a Mediator | 25 |
| Choosing a Mediation Approach | 25 |
| Mediator Credentials | 25 |
| Mediator Standards | 26 |
| Affording Mediation | 29 |
| Expense Sharing | 29 |
| Your Rights and Responsibilities | 29 |
| Agreement to Mediate | 30 |
| Mediation Methods | 31 |
| Red Flags | 32 |
| Tips for Choosing a Mediator | 33 |
Chapter 4 Expert Advice34
| Attorneys | 34 |
| Finding an Attorney | 35 |
| Using One Lawyer, or None | 35 |
| Therapists | 36 |
| Couples Therapy | 36 |
| Individual Therapy | 36 |
| Pediatric Therapy | 37 |
| Financial Advisors | 37 |
| Appraisers | 37 |
| Custody Evaluators | 38 |
| Law Guardians or Guardians ad Litem | 38 |
| Tips for Working with Other Professionals | 38 |
Chapter 5 On the Starting Blocks: Beginning Mediation39
| Setting Up a Schedule | 39 |
| Mind-Set | 39 |
| Ground Rules | 40 |
| Immediate Decisions | 40 |
| Payment for Mediation | 41 |
| Living Arrangements and Expenses | 41 |
| Your Children | 41 |
| Other Decisions | 42 |
| Coping with Emotions | 42 |
| Developing a Good Relationship with Your Mediator | 42 |
| Improving Your Communication Skills | 43 |
| Using Mediation to Solve Problems | 44 |
| Agreements | 44 |
| Mediation Checklist | 45 |
| Organizing Your Documents | 48 |
| Tips for Getting Started Successfully with Mediation | 48 |
Chapter 6 Parental Guidance: Choosing a Parenting Plan49
| What Is a Parenting Plan? | 50 |
| Continuing Your Parenting Relationship | 50 |
| Understanding Legal Terms | 51 |
| Joint Custody | 51 |
| Sole custody | 51 |
| Residential or Primary Custody | 51 |
| Visitation | 52 |
| How to Make Parenting Plan Decisions | 52 |
| Factors to Consider in Deciding Parenting Plans | 52 |
| Creating a Schedule | 53 |
| How to Make a Schedule | 54 |
| Holiday Schedules | 54 |
| Key Points to Remember When Creating Schedules | 55 |
| Involving Your Child | 55 |
| Other Decisions | 56 |
| Keeping Parenting Separate | 57 |
| Focusing on Details | 57 |
| Frozen Embryos | 58 |
| Tips for Creating Workable Parenting Plans | 58 |
Chapter 7 Money Talk: Mediating Child Support and Alimony60
| Alimony | 61 |
| Alimony and Property | 61 |
| Alimony and Taxes | 62 |
| Alimony as a Debt | 62 |
| Factors to Consider | 62 |
| Tips for Mediating Alimony | 63 |
| Health Insurance and Other Expenses | 63 |
| Child Support | 64 |
| The Purpose of Child Support | 64 |
| Calculating Child Support | 64 |
| Length of Child Support | 65 |
| Consequences of Child Support | 65 |
| Mechanics of Child Support | 65 |
| Other Expenses | 65 |
| Tips for Mediating Child Support | 66 |
Chapter 8 Long Division: Mediating Property Settlements68
| Getting All the Information | 69 |
| Understanding the Law | 69 |
| Thinking About Property Settlements | 69 |
| Understanding Separate Property | 70 |
| Property Division Laws | 70 |
| Listing Assets and Debts | 71 |
| Thinking About What You Want | 72 |
| Property Settlement Approaches | 72 |
| Dividing Large Assets | 74 |
| Real Estate | 74 |
| Retirement Accounts | 75 |
| Small Businesses | 75 |
| Dividing Debts | 75 |
| Dividing Household and Personal Items | 76 |
| Tips for Mediating Property Settlements | 76 |
Chapter 9 Bumps in the Road: Solving Mediation Problems77
| Problem: There Is a Lack of Communication | 77 |
| Problem: There Has Not Been Complete Financial Disclosure | 78 |
| Problem: You and Your Spouse Can't Agree on the Facts When It Comes to Money | 79 |
| Problem: You Can't Seem to Get Anywhere | 79 |
| Problem: Your Overall Agreement Somehow Seems Unbalanced | 80 |
| Problem: Your Spouse Is Not Cooperating | 80 |
| Problem: You Decide You Don't Like Your Mediator | 81 |
| Problem: You Don't Want to Do the Homework | 81 |
| Problem: You Have No Idea What Is Reasonable | 82 |
| Problem: You Encounter a Big Problem Outside of a Mediation Session | 82 |
| Problem: You Reached an Agreement, but One of You Broke It | 83 |
| Problem: Your Spouse Makes Last-Minute Changes or Demands | 83 |
| Problem: You Just Feel Uneasy About Mediation | 84 |
| Problem: You Can't Stand Up for Yourself | 85 |
| Problem: You Just Don't Know What You Want | 85 |
| Ending Mediation85 |
| Tips for Solving Mediation Problems86 |
Chapter 10 Closing the Book: Finalizing Your Divorce87
| Formally Ending Your Marriage | 87 |
| Divorce | 88 |
| Annulment | 89 |
| Reviewing Your Final Written Agreement in Mediation | 89 |
| What to Look for in an Agreement | 90 |
| Second Thoughts About Your Agreement? | 91 |
| Consulting with Your Attorney | 92 |
| Tips for Finalizing Your Agreement | 92 |
| Court Procedure | 92 |
| Obtaining Closure | 92 |
| Financial Closure | 92 |
| Spiritual Closure | 93 |
| Emotional Closure | 93 |
| Closure Ceremonies | 94 |
| Tips for Finding True Closure | 94 |
Chapter 11 Facing the Future: Dealing with Problems After Divorce95
| Rules for the Future | 95 |
| Parenting Rules | 95 |
| Other Rules | 96 |
| Mediating Post-Divorce Conflict on Your Own | 96 |
| Tips for Successful Self-Mediation | 97 |
| Mediating After Divorce | 97 |
| Tips for Facing the Future | 99 |
Chapter 12 Variations on a Theme: Mediation in Other Family Situations100
| Mediation for the First Time After Divorce | 100 |
| Mediation for Life Partners | 100 |
| Mediation with a Parent Who Was Not Your Partner | 101 |
| Mediation with a New Partner | 101 |
| Tips for Mediating Other Family Situations | 102 |
Appendix A Sample Agreement to Mediate103
Appendix B Resources106
Index113
Course Details
Author: Brette Sember, J.D.
Brette Sember B.A., J.D., is an editor, author, freelancer, ghostwriter, book coach, content expert, and consultant with 25+ years of experience.
As a former lawyer, Brette specializes in branded legal content for legal information sites, online legal services, legal marketing agencies, and law firms.
She is experienced in editing and enhancing AI-generated content.
In her career she has created and edited content on a wide variety of topics including law, food, travel, health, travel shopping, parenting, divorce, business, books, lifestyle, pregnancy, education, learning skills, women’s and family issues, finance, writing, children’s books, senior issues, entertainment, and more. She has been published in hundreds of magazines and websites including LegalZoom, FindLaw, Forbes Advisor, NextAvenue, Investopedia, American Baby, ePregnancy, Divorce Magazine, Fit Pregnancy, Healthy Women, Paste Magazine, The Mid, Pregnancy, Writer’s Digest, Zester, Salon, Money Geek, Hello Giggles, Avvo Stories, Willing, Mental Floss, and many, many more.
She is an expert for Divorce.com and WomansDivorce.com. She is a contributor for travel sites GoGirlfriend.com and MyItchyTravelFeet.com. She was a columnist for four different regional parenting magazines and was a staff writer for several web sites. She was a legal editor for Forbes Advisor. Brette’s personal essays have appeared on Woman’s Day, Scary Mommy, Purple Clover, and more. She also frequently writes humor lists.
In addition to writing content for specific sites, Brette has worked with agencies such as Marcus Thomas, Elite Lawyer Management, Virtuoso Content, Trellis Marketing, and The Rainmaker Institute to produce custom content for a variety of clients in a variety of industries.
Publication/Revision Date: 3/18/2026
Course Exam Questions (online): 25 (multiple-choice)
Program Delivery Method: Self-Study
Available Formats of Course Text: Downloadable PDF, Printed/Mailed
Course Level, Prerequisites, and Advance Preparation Requirements
| License | Course Level | Prerequisites | Advance Preparation Requirements |
|---|
| CDFA® | Overview | None | None |
* This program is appropriate for professionals at all organizational levels.
Sponsor ID Numbers
Registered with the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts
Learning Objectives
As a result of studying the course material, you should be able to meet the objectives listed below:
Chapter 1
- Understand the basics of mediation
- Grasp how mediation works
- Explain what mediation resolves
- Comprehend the costs of divorce mediation
- Specify aspects of mediation
- Understand the difference between mediation and other ADR
Chapter 2
- Explain pros and cons of mediation
- Understand readiness to mediate
- Explain fears about mediation
- Recognize the impact of mediation
Chapter 3
- Describe types of mediators
- Identify how to find a mediator
- Comprehend mediator credentials
- Specify questions to ask potential mediators
- Describe how to afford mediation
- Explain an agreement to mediate
Chapter 4
- Explain how attorneys, therapists, advisors, and appraisers are involved in mediation
Chapter 5
- Explain the mediation mind-set
- Understand mediation ground rules
- Recognize immediate decisions for mediation
- Comprehend communication skills for mediation
- Identify items in the mediation checklist
Chapter 6
- Understand parenting plans
- Recognize types of custody
- Identify considerations in creating a parenting schedule
- Comprehend when a child can be involved in mediation
Chapter 7
- Identify how alimony is determined
- Explain when alimony is terminated
- Specify options for health insurance after divorce
- Comprehend how child support is calculated
- Detail other expenses a parent can be ordered to pay
Chapter 8
- Recognize how to think about property settlements
- Explain separate property
- Understand assets and debts that must be listed
- Detail methods of dividing real property
Chapter 9
- Explain how to solve a lack of communication in mediation
- Describe how to solve a lack of financial disclosure in mediation
- Recognize how to solve disagreement on facts about money
- Explain how to solve broken agreements
Chapter 10
- Specify how a divorce procedure works
- Identify how annulment works
- Comprehend what should be in a mediation agreement
- Explain financial closure in a divorce
Chapter 11
- Comprehend rules about actions after the divorce
- Describe post-divorce self-mediation
- Understand mediation after divorce
Chapter 12
- Recognize how mediation applies for life partners
- Explain mediation with a parent who was not a partner
- Understand mediation with a new partner
